I met someone online a few months ago. The lady and I started chatting about the most common thing strangers usually talk about, the weather. It was on a Facebook messenger forum, with over a hundred participants but somehow it felt more interesting chatting with her. Our energy connected easily and soon we were ‘talking’ about funny things such as online games, jokes, movies and cooking.
A few months down the line, we discovered that we shared a lot in common. It is easy to open up and confide in each other like old friends. We share our concerns as well as our happy moments. We ask each other for advice. At times a hug sticker is enough to make us feel better. She sent me photos of her family and cute pets. Although we are both in UK, we haven't met or even spoken on the phone (... not yet anyway). It will happen when the time is right. Or, maybe it is not meant to happen. Whatever it is, the energy feels just right at the moment.
I don’t believe in coincidence. There is a reason for everything that happens. So, why is it that at times that we find it easier to open up to strangers than to those who know us in and out? Why is it difficult to discuss uncertainties with our family?
The reason is simple. In moments of self-doubt and lack of confidence, we feel a naked vulnerability. The closer we are to someone, the harder it gets to push the ignore button. We think that we might be forever diminished in their eyes if we take a wrong decision. We worry that they will judge us and make us feel not good enough. At times, our boundaries come up even before a conversation starts. We are on our guard like a defensive prey waiting to be attacked and ready to strike back. We are not as sensitive when it comes from a stranger. If we don’t like their opinion, it goes in one ear and out the other. Also, they give their opinion and they are not bothered about what we choose to do.
People who love us often think that they know everything about us and what’s the best for us. Instead of making suggestions, they try to decide on our behalf because they want it to be just right. What if their version of ‘just right’ is different from ours? This is frustrating especially if they start reminding us of slip-ups we made in the past. They probably have the best intentions but they miss the point. We are asking guidance, not for them to decide. It might be the same choice in the end, but it is the way the situation is handled that makes the difference. If they decide, chances are that we feel useless and if it keeps repeating, we start feeling not good enough.
Like attracts like
According to the law of attraction, energy attracts similar energy. Virtual relationships can be powerful. They can be available within seconds. You can start a conversation when you see the green dot next to their name or you hear the ping. They come as a breath of fresh air from people who see us with fresh eyes. It is a blessing to have the opportunity to meet others who are on the same wavelength thanks to social media. Often, we hear about couples who met online and got married, new friendships, pets finding new homes, and so on.
People come in our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Coming back to my own experience, I would say that my online friend manifested for a reason at a time when I needed some sort of confirmation from the Universe. Recently, I have been wondering whether I was meant to write or if it was just a waste of time, spending hours in front of my laptop, struggling to get the story out there. This thought started coming up a few months ago, ‘I don’t think that I am good enough to write a book.’ At some point, this thought changed into a rock hard belief.
During a chat last week, my new friend told me how much she loved some things that I shared on my website and how it made her feel. The conversation flowed easily for twenty minutes and as I read her words of encouragement, the rock hard belief started to melt. People around me have also been encouraging me. However, this self-doubting part of me thinks that they say it only because they love me and want to make me feel better but that they don’t mean it. Another part of me does not feel like talking about it to my real life friends as they are probably bored about hearing the same thing again. The words of encouragement from a stranger help me believe in myself again. She did not have to spend time reading my website and blogs. She has nothing to gain by telling me that she appreciates my work. She says it because she believes it. I feel immensely grateful for the encouragement.
This one is for you Debs!
P.S. I met Debs in Central London 9 months are writing this blog. She stayed at mine for the weekend. We had lunch in a pub and went shopping. She got along well with my hubby and there was a lot of laughter at dinner time. We stayed up until 2am, chatting like good old friends. She even did a bit of gardening for me! We are definitely meeting again sometime this year.